Can i not drive my cunt home
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize