Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
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don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
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Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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