Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
