why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
