Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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