HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
