Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
