i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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