You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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