Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I am midnight drunk by noon
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
