my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
