and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
