Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
