Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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