He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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