Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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