Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
