I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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