Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
