so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
