Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
