So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
