She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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