So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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