sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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