dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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