you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
