i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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