so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize