hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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