Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Randomize
