Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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