he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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