Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
