If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
