good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Panties = found
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
