Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
