dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
