dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
