The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
fuck your aforementioned shoe
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
