My boss' voice literally gives me gas
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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