My nipple is on Facebook.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
