Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
