Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
