I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
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I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
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Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
You left your phone here
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