yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
