My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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