direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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