1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize