I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
