the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
