do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
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