My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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