She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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