I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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