If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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