Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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