dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
