i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
