if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Someone came in the potted fern
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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