Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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