when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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