glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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