this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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