also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
