I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize