Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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