youre lurking in front of me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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