Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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