I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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